Stephen, TB test, Bryce

So I havent posted in awhile so I thought I would update everyone on whats going on in my life. I am in school to become a nurse an LPN to be exact and its crazy and I am now super busy with homework and learning all of the medical terms (there is seriously a million of them) but I am having a blast doing it. In order to work in health care you are required to get a TB test. I am deathly afraid of needles the last time I went to get a TB test was my senior year of high school. I passed out and threw up and that was just when i saw the needle not even when they stuck it into me. So as I started going to school I was required to get a TB test needless to say I was a mess. I went with a couple of people from my class and they had no problem but I brought my aunt with me to hold my hand since i was freaking out. we went in and explained to the nurse that i passed out etc so they had me lay down while they went and got the "crash cart" in case anything did happen. my aunt and I sat down held hands and said a prayer that I would be able to do this without a problem. I laid down they cleaned it said one two three and it was over. I didnt pass out or throw up I was just a little shaky so I sat there for a couple of minutes and then walked out of there with no problem. It was amazing and I was so excited that i survived I had like ten texts from people in my class asking if i was ok and if i had passed out. So we will see if I test positive or negative for TB on monday. But at least its over with.

I got to see my brother Stephen for the first time in almost a year and a half, on thursday. He was up visiting my grandparents so I went over to see him after class. I didnt recognize him at first he had gotten so tall! I stayed for dinner and we caught up on what was going on in each others lives I told him about me going on a mission and he told me he has a girlfriend! it was strange to think of my little brother as having a girlfriend he shouldnt be that old! lol It was nice to see him again though and I enjoyed it.


So last but not least I have a bunch of people asking me if its true or not and speculating about it so yes Bryce Tadd and I are dating each other. There now you all know lol Yes I am still planning on going on a mission, yes we are doing the long distance thing. But we feel like being together is right and that it will work out. so there now its out lol.

so I hope that you all have a wonderful week!

The Pioneer Trek ( warning very long post)

wow what a week.... I just got back from a pioneer trek. I am so amazed and inspired by what the pioneers accomplished and what they went through in order to get to zion. So for the trek we went up to Martins Cove in Wyoming. We went with my cousins home school group called liberty Girls. there were about 200 of us in total and we were divided into companies. my families company was the yellow group my uncle troy was our group leader and I was the medical volunteer as I had just passed my CNA test and apparently that qualified me to be in charge in case of emergency lol. my aunt and my cousins and i had been sewing for months to get all of our pioneer clothes done. I am also proud to say that I made my first quilt by myself I did all of the sewing and its not a masterpiece but I am still really proud of it. Its a patch work quilt and cutting all of those squares out was awful but I am so grateful that my aunt has been willing to teach me how to sew. So we finally had everything ready and packed and then found out that it didnt all fit into one car... so we decided to take both the mazda cx9 and the mazda 3. we were a little bit late getting going and were pressing the speed limit getting there as we were driving on the free way a driver in a van next to us fell asleep and drifted into our lane and then into the median hitting the fence that was there and that woke him up luckily neither the driver nor anyone else was hurt but we definitely had guardian angels with us. so we got to orientation right as it was beginning and they showed us a video about what the pioneers who came through martins cove had to go through and of course my aunt and I are bawling at just how sad and amazing the pioneers were. so we went to get put all of our stuff in the handcarts. their were ten people to a hand cart which meant that a family of three was going to be sharing it with us. We met the Reeds who were a very nice couple and had their six year old son with them. The wind was blowing like crazy and getting everything on the handcart was a job but we finally did it and started our three mile trek to the campsite. I ended up pushing the covered wagon that was holding all of the children under eight which included my 2 year old and my 6 year old cousin. we also did a womens pull up the steepest hill of the trail. we all got together and were asked to imagine if our dads our husbands or our brothers had died and we had to make it on our own on the trail how we could have done it. we sang god be with you until we meet again as we said goodbye to the men and watched them walk up the hill we then went back to our handcarts to pull them up my oldest cousins went to help another hand cart who only had one woman pulling it. and my aunt and i pulled the handcart with the 2 year old and the six year old in it. the men all lined up the hill and stood silently watching us as we struggled and fought to keep control of it. I looked up to see most of the men crying including my uncle. We did finally make it up the hill but went right back down to help the other handcarts when every one had gotten up the hill my aunt and my cousins and i joined held hands as we walked back up to my uncle and the symbolism and that amazing spirt that was there I cant even begin to describe. We walked three miles and finally got to the campsite it was cold and windy and just awful weather. Andria my two year old cousin was freezing and my aunt was worried about her getting hypothermia so i took her along with me as I went to do what I had been told to do and check on everyone else to make sure there were no cases of hypothermia or anything else that needed medical attention. we finally got the tent up and ate some dinner and then went to bed since we were all so exhausted from the drive and the walk and the stress of getting there. The next day we woke up and ate breakfast then packed up our handcart with lunch water and my medical bag and started the five mile hike to martins cove. the group ahead of use was an hour and half late getting started so it pushed us back a bit but we were all fine with that it meant we could walk a little slower =) When we did finally get to martins cove they asked us to walk it without handcarts and to walk it silently out of respect for what the pioneers had suffered there and for those that had died there. we were walking on sacred ground. I loved how very peaceful it was there wasnt any thought of being tired or hot or wanting to stop. there was such a strong spirt there. we were truly walking on holy and sacred ground. Once we had walked all the way through martins cove we had lunch and then started our five mile journey back to camp. We would pass by bathrooms and those who needed to stop would stop while the rest continued on well alexa needed to go but no one else on our handcart needed to so I was asked to stay behind and look after her and try and catch up to the cart when we could. So as Alexa and I were walking back to our handcart we were about to walk up the hill when we saw a handcart being pulled by a grown man a little boy and a little girl was pushing. they were having a hard time making it up the hill. Alexa looked at me and said we should help we went and started to push the man being suprised at the fact that it was getting easier looked back to see us and we got up to hill. when we got to the top he told alexa that god had sent angels to help him get up the hill and thanked us for helping him. I have never seen alexa so happy and I have never been more proud of her for being willing to help. we did eventually get back to our cart and join the rest of the family. that night we had a special delivery from the "pony express" and we all recieved letters I even recieved a letter from my aunts mom telling me how glad she was to have me be a part of their family. we all sang pioneer songs around the campfire that night and told stories about where we were from. we had gotten so many questions about who I was and having to explain that I was their niece was becoming complicated so we ended up just telling everyone that I was troys niece who was like a daughter to them. the next day we broke camp and took down the tents and got everything packed up for the three mile trek back to the vistors center we were all wind blown and sun burned and exhausted but we made it back to the vistors center and as we pulled into the hand cart area the lyrics to the song the spirt of god were going through my mind and thought of how profound it must have been after walking and pulling a handcart a thousand miles to finally stop in salt lake and sing praises to the lord. we got everything into the car and started on home as soon as we got home we showered and went to bed exhausted but happy. our trek was amazing and spirtual and I learned so much about myself. I would never have been able to walk that far seven months ago when i first moved in with my aunt and uncle but now I am proud to say that I walked the entire trek.

o savior stay this night with me behold tis eventide

I attend an institute class called doctrines of the hymns. Music has always been a huge part of my life since the whole reason that I danced was to express what I thought the music was saying to me. Music has been what has gotten me through the hardest times in my life. Tonight we were talking about comfort and how heavenly father never leaves you alone. My teacher asked us to think of a song that helps us when we are in our darkest moments. Through the past year and a half I have had to learn some very hard lessons and I cant count the hours I spent on my knees crying and talking to god about what was going on. But on the darkest nights and when I felt the most hopeless and that I couldnt possibly bear any more pain or heartache or sorrow the following hymn was the only thing that could make the feeling going away

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.
The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall;
The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest,
Within my home abide.

[Chorus]
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.
Thy walk today with me
Has made my heart within me burn,
As I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul
And kept me near thy side.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide,
And lone will be the night
If I cannot commune with thee
Nor find in thee my light.
The darkness of the world, I fear,
Would in my home abide.


Now my lessons and sorrows and hurts are different but I still gain so much comfort especially from the words o savior stay this night with me behold tis even tide o savior stay this night with me. I cant count how many times I felt the presence of my savior on those dark nights where I didnt think I could handle things anymore. I am so thankful that I can ask for that comfort and that our savior is loving and cares for each of us so much that he would comfort me even when its nothing compared to what he had to go through. I am so grateful for those institute, relief society and sunday school lessons where you feel the spirt so strongly that you dont know whether to cry or be overjoyed or both. I am so grateful that I have an amazing institute teacher who is willing to take what he learns with his work from the mormon tabernacle choir and share with others. I am thankful.

I am 20 years old!

I turned 20! I am officially no longer a teenager. So this birthday was a fantastic one I had so much fun. Because it was memorial day sara, troy and I decided to celebrate it early since we had a couple of BBQ's we were invited too. So on Friday all of the "grown ups" (meaning sara and troy and I) had a Farscape marathon. And since no one has any idea of what Farscape is. Its a sci fi show that troy got me into and now am addicted too. yes I know I am a geek lol. My cousins also gave me some gifts that they had gotten me they had each drawn me a picture and written me a letter it was very sweet and cute. my aunt and uncle got me a tempurpedic mattress which is absolute heaven and I have no idea how I slept without one before. They also got me a CTR ring thats pink and glittery its really cute, and an itunes card. Sunday I celebrated my birthday with my Grandparents and my aunt I went over and had dinner with them after church and I got a book on money management and some really cute clothes. My aunt gave me a gift card to the movies and I have plans with her to go and see the new twilight movie eclipse. saras parents came over on monday and gave my a birthday card with 20 dollars in it. and saras sister gave me another itunes card so all in all I made out pretty well for my birthday. =) I was also woken up on monday by my two best friends calling and singing happy birthday too me. Bryce called me at six in the morning just to sing happy birthday and to let me pretend to be annoyed at him for waking me up early. Then about an hour later Jill called and sang Happy Birthday very loudly and off key but I loved it. I have some truly amazing friends =)

Its my sister michaelas (though I hear she is going by Claire now) Birthday today so Happy 12th Birthday!

My brother also graduated this last week unfortunately I was not able to attend but I am so very proud of him for making it through high school and not tripping on the stage. Congratulations Adam!

So right now I am looking for another summer job, getting ready to go on the trek and staying busy with my calling in the church. Life is finally in order and moving forward and I couldnt be happier

I'm Baaaack

I am back!!!! wow what a whirlwind finals week then california then back and now were packing to go up to wyoming for the pioneer trek. So first off the vacation was marvelous! My aunt and uncle own a time share so we had a three bedroom condo at a resort for all of you people in the st george area it was a lot like Green Valley Spa. the rooms the pool everything was just amazing. when my aunt and uncle vacation they vacation in style lol. The first thing we did was play on the beach all day which was fun to just relax and play in the water the next day we went to lego land which i thought might be a little bit cheesy and for little kids but it was so much fun everything there is either made to look like its made out of legos or it actually is made out of legos as soon as i figure out how to post pictures on my blog i will upload some. so the next couple of days we relaxed by the pool with complimentary smoothies ( I know your jealous lol ) =) the second day we went to lego land amanda one of my cousins got sick but over all it was still a good day the next day i had the same bug amanda had so i stayed in the condo while everyone else went to the san diego zoo but it was ok i spent the day watching avatar and twilight lol we then got into st george and had some dinner and stayed the night with a couple of my aunt and uncles friends and saw jill before she went to china for ten days which was a lot of fun i forgot that the only thing to do in st george at midnight is go to walmart so I saw a couple of people there. Then we came home over all the trip was amazing and fun and I cant wait to do it again my aunt and uncle are talking about going to the lego land in Florida when it opens next year. Anyway finals week was a nightmare of course but I passed all of my classes which I jumped up and down over as my aunt laughed at how stupid my happy dance was =) yeah so right now were trying to get ready for our pioneer trek in June and doing a really intensive work out routine so that we will be ready to walk the eight miles every day so far its kicking my butt but its working I lost five pounds from it all ready and its only been a week well thats the update hope everyone is doing great =)

Lego Land, The beach, and the temple my dream vacation =)

Hello world I know I know I need to post the rest of the walk with christ but with finals and work and family I have basically no time. So quick update since I wont be online much for the next two weeks. Finals start this week and holy hannah I have never been this stressed about them but I am on top of all my homework ( for the first time in my life lol) so this saturday the day after finals my family and I are headed off to California for ten days were going to lego land the beach and to the San Diego temple and maybe to sea world were still deciding on that. I am so excited to go I havent had a real vacation in almost two years and I love california and have never been to Lego Land so it should be way fun and exciting. Then after we get home from that I have my 20th birthday.... wow I feel so old lol Right now my only big plans are to spend it with my family and then day before my friend Blake apparently has some surprise he has come up with....I think I should be concerned =)then we have a pioneer trek in June where we will be going to Martins Cove and I am way excited for that as well. So basically I have a very busy summer coming up and I am so freaking excited about it. hmmm other news my best friend Bryce moved to pennsylvania today which was way sad but he came up to say good bye to me before he left and its only for the summer and its an awesome job so I am way happy for him. I think thats all for now I love you all have a good week =)

Walk with christ day two

Ok day two of the walk with christ activity for those of you just reading Im doing an activity where you walk with christ the last seven days of his life. Its been really interesting and uplifting so far.
Day two
Day of authority
Jesus Christ returns to the temple and drives the moneychangers from the outer court
read Matthew 21:12-15
thought- we all have things we need to cleanse from our lives each day. this is why our loving heavenly father provided us with the opportunity to repent. Are there things that you need to "cast out" of your "temple"?
challenge- today I will choose one thing that I need to cleanse from my life and sincerely repent and strive to do better
Envelope 2
the card files
in that place between wakefulness and dreams, i found myself in the room. there were no features except for the one wall covered by small index card files. these files stretched from floor to ceiling and went endlessly in both directions. as i drew near the wall of files the first to catch my attention was one that read "boys I have liked" I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it shocked to realize that i recognized the names on each one. i then realized where i was this lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalogue system of my life. here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small in every detail. a sense of wonder and curiosity mixed with horror stirred within me as i began opening files and looking at their contents. . some brought joy and sweet memories others a sense of shame and regret so intense that i looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
a file named friends was next to the one marked friends i have betrayed the titles ranged from the mundane to the weird. books i have read lies i have told comfort i have given. jokes i have laughed at. people i have hurt. some were almost funny in their exactness
things i have done in anger. things i have muttered under my breath at my parents. often there were many more cards than i expected. sometimes fewer than i had hoped i was overwhelmed by the volume of life i had lived. could it be possible that i had the time in my young life to write each of these thousands of millions of cards? but each card confirmed this truth each was written in my own handwriting each signed with my signature.
when i pulled out the file marked songs i have listened too. i realized the files grew to contain the contents. the cards were packed tightly yet after two or three yards i hadnt found the end of the file. i shut it shamed not so much of the quality music but more by the amount fo time i knew it represented. when i came to a file marked "lustful thoughts" i felt a chill run through my body i pulled the file out inch by inch not willing to test its size and drew out a card.

I shuddered at the details. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded a rage broke through me no one must see these cards no one must ever see this room. i have to destroy them. in a frenzy i yanked the file out its size didnt matter now i had to empty it and burn the cards. i took it out and pounded it on the floor not a single card would come outi desperately pulled out a card and tried to rip it but it was strong as steel.
leaning my forehead against the wall i let out a sigh then i saw it the title "people i have shared the gospel with: the handles were brighter than those around it newer almost unused i pulled on its handle a small box fell into my hands. i could count the the cards it contained on one hand. and then the tears came. i began to cry sobbing so deep it hurt my stomach i fell on my knees and cried out in shame the rows of shelves whirled around me. no one must ever know of this room. i must lock it up and hide the key. But as i pushed away the tears i saw him no please not here oh anyone but jesus i watched helplessly as he began to open the files and read the cards. i couldnt bear to watch his response in the moments that i could bring myself to look at his face i saw sorrow deeper that my own he seemed to go to the worst boxes. why did he have to read every one finally he turned and looked at me with pity in his eyes
but this wasnt a pity that angered me i dropped my head and began to cry again but he didnt say a word he just cried with me then he got up and walked back to the wall of files starting at one end of the room he took our a card and one by one he began to sign his name over mine.
No i shouted rushing at him all i could find to say was no no as i pulled th card from him his name shouldnt be on those cards. but there it was written in red so rich so dark so alive the name jesus covered mine. it was written with his blood
he gently took the cards back he smiled a sad smile and began to sign all the cards. i do not think i will ever understand how did it so quickly but the next instance it seemed i heard him close the last file and walk back to my side he placed his hand on my shoulder and said "it is finished" I stood up and he led me out of the room there was no lock on the door. there are still cards to be written...


I love this story repentance is a huge part of my testimony I know that Jesus Christ died for our sins so that he could save us. Thinking of being that girl in that room and how it would have felt to have Jesus say it is finished and the relief and the shame and sadness that she must have felt knowing that jesus had the power to do that but shamed and sad that he had to do it.