catch up

I wonder some times if we put a time line on our selves get married at twenty have kids by twenty two and then their are the culture expectations in Utah it is considered the norm when girls get married right after high school boys are expected to get married six months to a year after their mission outside of Utah people would never dream of marrying that young then their is the category of miss fits that I fall under I am turning nineteen this month I don't have a boyfriend and don't really want one I think its stupid to get married before your twenty your not developed enough as a person I don't want to tie myself down to one person so soon I want to go explore the world I want to live on my own and experience life I want it to be what am I going to do Friday night not what are we going to do Friday night I have two friends in particular that come to mind when talking about this area one of my friends is mature beyond her age and I never ever thought she would get married young in fact the month before she got engaged we had a talk about how she wanted to finish school first etc etc then she met her husband now this is the part I don't agree with first time she met him they held hands second time she met him they kissed third time she saw him he asked her to be his girlfriend fourth time he proposed fifth time they got married now he lived in cali so it was a bit different age got married two weeks before her nineteenth birthday now my other friend met this guy in ninth grade waited for him on his mission graduated high school early so that she could marry him as soon as she turned eighteen which she did twi weeks after she turned eighteen she is eight months pregnant now and turned nineteen two months ago now she is better prepared than most couples are her husband has a career and they can afford a nice town house but is she mentally and psychologically ready for this I have no idea maybe she is and though I know I want to wait for marriage and get married when I feel is right I can't help but be jealous of my friends I want that perfect wedding the wedding ring to plan the wedding I want a baby I want to go home and tell my husband I'm pregnant and watch him get excited I feel like I'm watching all of my friends race ahead of me with their lives while I'm stuck in the same old rut I go to their weddings and that little nagging voice in the back of me head saying what if you never get married what if you wait to long what if no one wants you so I end this post with the beginning to we out time lines on ourselves